Madison LaRocque

 

Peer Feedback:

 

Your introduction was perfect, I loved it. The essay itself was very organized and easy to follow. It was pretty clear and you had some valid ideas. If anything I would just work on transitions from paragraph to paragraph. Maybe even add a little more as to why people are against technology in the classrooms and why the transition is not happening faster. Add a little more to your conclusion and I think you will be set! I love this topic and how you are so passionate about it. I would include some information about how parents view technology in the classroom and why they agree or disagree with it. Maybe you could ever incorporate a real story with parents and their opinions on the topic. Would this essay aim for more younger students like elementary school or would it range all the way up to high school and college levels as well? Are parents concerned with the money they will have to be spending on this kind of technology? If the school provides this technology then how are they paying for it? I just love your topic and think that classrooms need to adjust to the way society is, considering all education builds up to surviving the real world. I think technology at a young age is beneficial because once these students are out of school they are thrown into a technological world and must learn how to adjust to whatever is thrown at them. Overall I think this essay is really nice and enjoyable to read. Just make a few adjustments and you will heading on a good path! As far as the title goes, I am the most uncreative person in the world so I’m stumped. I like what you have though!